My Brain is on FIRE

Still playing the game and lovin' it. Right now, the game is teaching me to be patient. One of the concepts is that going slow can actually get you there faster.

The biofeedback controller measures heart rate and skin conductivity. I read a whole article on how someone reverse engineered the interface to figure out how it worked. One of those dark niches of the WWW.

The main menu of the game let you see the heart rate in a real time graph, like a heart monitor at a hospital, but doesn't display the skin conductivity.

While looking at the graph of the heart beat, I remembered something. I have an irregular heartbeat. It has been called trigeminy, but it really doesn't qualify for that name. Trigeminy means there is a small blip on every third heart beat. But for it to be a true trigeminy, the distance/time from the third heart beat to the blip must always be the same. And in me, it is not. There have even been times when it goes away altogether. The literature says this is stress based. If it was always the same time/distance apart, it would mean a deformity of some kind in the heart of valves - a physical problem in the flesh.

I think the trigeminy is why it takes me so long to relax, or is a strong indicator of uncontrolled subconcious stress. So the game makes me meditate until that stress is less, my heartbeat gets more regular in spacing, and that shows up in the double spiral in the game. There are probably parts of the body that respond to the regularity of the heartbeat, like it was some kind of nexxus.

It is still hard to get to a state of total relaxation in the game, but I have reached the left end of the thermometer many times now, and kept it there without much effort once it is there. Still feels unnatural, though. When I mean unnatural, I mean I feel an uneasiness in my limbs, and it feels like I am breathing too shallow.

The good part is this warm feeling in the back of my head. I don't mean on the skin. This actually feels like it is in the brain. It gets all tingly. There was an activity in the game that likens this to a fire. That is what it feels like, a gentle fire in the brain.